Thinking

So like every teenager I’ve been thinking about how my life could be different. Doesn’t everyone think about something they wish they would have done or could do or just wonder what they’re life would be like if something didn’t happen or did happen? Well I have and this is what I’ve been thinking about :)

Well as you all know I never went to a normal school because I was bullied. Sometimes I wish that would have been different and gone to school because I wish I could have those experiences that everyone else has. This year would have been my “senior year” just like my best friend Lesley. I would have been going to prom, football games, basketball games, and those are things I will never be able to do. Even if I decided to go to a game or something at another school it would be a diaster since everyone would be swarming me and everything else. Somedays I wish that I could be a normal senior but then again I made the choice to change my life and do what I love and I knew that things would never be the same. I’m not at all regretting my decision to act and sing so please don’t twist my words. I just kinda wonder what it would be like. Would I be a cheerleader still? Would I be on the squad at school? Would I be valedictorian (probably not) but you never know. I guess this is just part of growing up and learning who you are. Wondering what would be and could be. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything but sometimes if only I could put on a wig and be a different person I could hide myself. I love my fans and everything but somedays I just want to be normal, whatever that is. I mean I can’t go out in public without photographers following me, being mobbed by people, someone constantly wanting an autograph or a picture. I have gotten somewhat use to it although I will never be fully use to it. It can be hard somedays because I don’t feel well or want to be bothered or I’m in a hurry but I always do my best to take pictures or sign things. Days when I don’t there is usually a reason, and people take that the wrong way. They try to say i’m not thankful for my fans or I don’t care and that is the farthest thing from the truth. I just wish I could go out somedays and not be noticed. Haha.

Okay, well i’m done rambling and venting and thinking out loud. I hope it makes sense because I’m not going back to proof read it haha.

xo M